Chris GraylinG4s today announced he had signed a major £1.4bn contract with a large Private sector organisation.
He Said “The Articulated Balance And Calculation Unification System will allow all government agencies to achieve accurate and timely submissions, for the first time we will see cutting edge technology in every government office, this system is so revolutionary, even a child could use it”
When questioned about the reliability of the system GraylinG4s assured the press “Only last week I was on the MD’s yacht in the Maldives and was assured by both Mr Bodgitt, Mr Leggitt and Mr Scarper that this system is fool proof. I was even offered a personal Articulated Balance And Calculation Unification System but had some technical difficulty with the sellotape sealing the box.”
When asked about the recent embarrassments that have led to him calling in the Police the Minister said “This is a time for finding the good in our partners not the bad, remember we are all in this together. You cannot overlook the fact that over charging does mean that they pay more tax, so it’s a win win situation.” He went on “But I found it shameful that the Police did not pick up on this before, indeed this has raised the question of whether the delivery of a Police service would not be better placed in the hands of the Private sector, indeed, early conversations with the private sector have brought me guarantees that should they be allowed to control the Police we would never see another incidence of over charging come to light, and as a tax payer I’m sure that is news we all want to hear.”